Monday, March 31, 2014

Fun Sunday

Happy Monday!! :)  Hope everyone had a great weekend!  I talked about my "Me" Saturday so I thought I would share my fun Sunday!

I got up at 8am and got ready.  At 8:45am I left to head to my grandma's.  We went to church and then to lunch for a brunch buffet.  I ate way too much but it was yummy!

After we killed some time at Target before going to my 7 year old cousins cheer recital!  She is apart of a cheer organization that does cheer for 3 year old to 18 years old.  They have rec cheer teams (just for fun), half year competitive teams and year competitive teams.  Then they are different levels for each type.  From level one to level five.  My cousin is in a 5 to 8 year old competitive year round team.  (they try out to make teams).  So we got to watch everyone from this cheer company.  It was cute to see the little ones all the way up to the big girls that could do the throwing in the year, pyramids, ect.  Definitely more fun then I expected because in Nebraska high schoolers can't do that type of thing so I've never seen this type of cheerleading in person!!

That was about 2 hours and then we went and got Ice cream!  It was a beautiful 77 degree day so perfect for that!!

After that I drove back to campus, ate dinner and then hung out with friends for the rest of the day!

It was a fun Sunday! :)

Saturday, March 29, 2014

A ME Day

**This extra weekend post is brought to you by a beautiful Saturday afternoon and all the thoughts currently running through my head :) **

Today has turned into a ME day.  You know one of those days that you do everything that makes you happy and just spent quiet alone time. (Or in my case not with friends in my room alone as alone gets as roommate has been in room all day)

I had an extremely lazy morning.  I didn't get out of bed til 11 then got dressed and just chilled in the lounge until roommate got up.  Then I ate a late lunch and wasted some time on youtube.

Then I went on a walk!  I love when it's nice enough to be outdoors and go for a walk.  Not only is it good exercise but it clears the mind.

And after I got back I caught up on Parenthood episodes and now listening to music and shocked by how fast this day has gone by!  It's already 4pm!  Granted i've only been up for 6 hours ;) 

This week with school work has been really busy (which this will probably be this way for rest of semester).  So this lazy, to myself day has just been needed.  To be able to relax, get some stress off of me and just enjoy myself.  I needed this and so very thankful for it.

So now I'm going to enjoy the rest of this lazy "me" day and look forward to tomorrow!  Going to church and my cousins cheer recital with my grandma!

Happy Saturday & have a great weekend :)

Friday, March 28, 2014

Five On Friday

I'm linking up this Friday for 5 On Friday!!!

  1. My grandma got out of the hospital yesterday, yay!!  Such a relief :)
  2. Sunday I am going with my other grandma to church and then my cousins dance recital, so excited for some family time!  I love family time :)
  3. Only 6 weeks plus exam week left of classes!  I can't tell you how excited I am for it to be summer!  Especially after visiting the daycare over break!  I'm very excited to be back working at the daycare and just for summer to be here!!  Hopefully these next 7 weeks fly by!!!!
  4. Do any of you listen to Pandora?  That's pretty much all I listen to!  I love the Taylor Swift station, it plays all of my favorite music!  I would recommend that station, so go check it out :)
  5. Sorry for this boring 5 on Friday, not too much going on in my life!  Hope you all have a great weekend & hopefully next week I will blog all 5 days again.  Can I get a WOHOO for blogging all 5 days this week, WOHOO!

Don't Miss Out On This Week's Post!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Moving On After A Loss

Its been 24 days since Grandpa died.  I won't lie, it hasn't been easy.  I don't know what I expected when I knew we didn't have much longer with grandpa, but it's been hardier then I could have ever imagined.  I have been fortunite enough to never having to deal with a loss of a love one before (family members that have died either died before I was born or when I was a baby).  So I've never had to cope or deal with this.

My grandma is currently in the hospital (never truly got better from last time she was in the hospital) and I just want her to be better already.  There are some days I find Grandpa on my mind a lot.  During the day i'm typically busy enough that I don't think about him as much, compared to night time when I am laying down for bed and he's all I can think about.  I replay that day he died in my mind.  And I just miss him.  I mourn him.

I got a special picture frame and put his photo in it and I ordered a special necklace (post to come once I get the necklace).  I am glad I've done this.  They both have meaning to me and just another way of having Grandpa always with me.  Even though I know he always is.

This isn't an easy process and I know I won't ever fully get over him being gone, but I take it day by day.

Don't Miss Out On This Week's Post!
  Spring Break Recap           Why I Love Spring         What I Wore Wednesday

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What I Wore Wednesday: March Edition

              Spring Break Recap                       Why I Love Spring 

Happy Wednesday everyone!  Today I am linking up with What I Wore Wednesday!
March 12th: White long sleeve shirt, pinkish/redish sweater & silver sparkly scarf!
March 15th: Pink long sleeve shirt and silver sparkly scarf! 

March 18th: Gray stripped 3 quarters sleeve shirt from Rue 21, Columbia White Jacket & Blue scarf from Charlotte Russe! 
March 20th: Blue t-shirt from JcPennys, scarf from Vanity and white jacket

March 22nd: Pink/Gray striped quarter length sleeve shirt from Rue 21 & Gray sparkly scarf
March 23rd: Black t-shirt from target, black sweater from target and purple scarf!

March 24th: Gray quarter length shirt and blue/turquoise scarf!

     Linking up with:
pleated poppy

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Why I Love Spring

I love spring!  It is my favorite season :)

So here is a list on WHY it's my favorite season!!

  • I can break out the flip flops, I love flip flops!! :)
  • After freezing temperatures and snow for months which includes being stuck in the house, I can finally get out of the house!
  • It's nice enough for walks!!  I took several with our puppy while on spring break and I love having a walking partner!  Many more of those to come!!
  • No more snow...enough said ;)
  • I can drive with my sun roof open and windows down!
  • Pretty flowers & colors outside!
  • Just being outside in beautiful weather & pretty flowers/plants!
  • It being spring means almost summer time!
  • Baseball season begins, love baseball!  Sad that my brother isn't playing baseball this year though :(
  • People are happier because it's nice enough to be outside!
  • The sun stays up later in the day!
  • Spring is just awesome :)
What's your favorite season?  Leave a comment below telling me WHY!

Monday, March 24, 2014

Spring Break Recap

Can I just say that I had a great break!!  Couldn't ask for a better break :)

Here is a recap of my 2014 Spring Break!!

Break started after our last class on Friday 3-14-14.  I had to work so I didn't get home til 6:30!  That Saturday I went to Sam's durby for Cub Scouts, we ate lunch, I went with mom and step dad to the grocery store and then just relaxed the rest of the day!
We did go on a family walk!  I love that we have our dog Buddy to go with us on walks now :)
We also had a yummy dinner!  A summer like dinner, it was delicious! 

Sunday I met Kayleen for an afternoon of shopping!  It was so much fun!
I must say that this may now be one of my favorite pictures of me & Kayleen!  To see what I got on my shopping trip click here!
We grabbed Charley's in the food court before we left, I've never had it but it definitely was yummy!
After I went to go babysit my favorite two twins!!
It was only an hour but I loved it!  I had missed them!!

Monday morning I had a dentist cavities thankfully!  And then I went home, ate lunch, ordered some pictures and then went to Walmart to pick up the pictures. 
 That afternoon I ran around town tyring to find a special photo frame to put grandpa's photo with me in!
I found it at Hallmark and I just love it.  It is special and means a lot to me <3

Tuesday I spent the day at my grandma's.  That evening I had dinner with my friend Ashley!!  We went to Cracker Barrel and it was fun like always!  Always good to catch up!!!
Wednesday I had an extremely lazy morning and then spent the afternoon cleaning and organizing!
I had this puppy as my company!!

Thursday I visited the daycare then had lunch at Panera!
Me and Buddy also went on a walk!  I'm so happy that I now have a walking buddy!!
That night we went to Olive Garden, it was yummy!

Friday my brothers had no school so I had a lazy day with them!  That night I went to see Divergent with Kayleen, it was a good movie!

Saturday I was lazy and then babysat the twins again from 3 to 6:30pm!  Then lazy evening!

Sunday we went grocery shopping, stopped by moms, had lunch and then cleaned up this mess!
We are guessing a newspaper delivery person lost 15 to 30 papers!!!  It was insane!!

That evening I went back to school!

It was a great break and makes me want these 2 months to go by super fast as I'm ready to be home for the summer!! :)

Friday, March 21, 2014

Summer 2014 Bucket List

Last summer I had a 'Before College Bucket List' and although many of them happened, I never finished them all!  So I thought I would do a summer 2014 bucket list!

Here is a review of last summer's bucket list:
  • Go to J cupcakes (not naming restaurant)  Never went! :(
  • Go to G cupckaes (not naming restaurant) Never went, but had some at work!
  • Go through clothing DONE
  • Give away never wear clothing or things that don't fit DONE
  • Go on a trip with Kayleen DONE
  • Go dorm room shopping  DONE
  • Go clothing shopping (x3) DONE
  • Go to Chipotle Didn't happen
  • Go to Ho-Hot Didn't happen
  • Organize room at both house (Throw away any junk) DONE
  • Go to Cheesecake Factory  Didn't happen
  • Take Kayleen to Olive Garden  Didn't happen
  • Go to Funplex with friends  Didn't happen
  • Go to Coco Keys with friends  Didn't happen
  • Wash car, deep clean inside of car DONE
  • Go to Chick-Fil-A DONE
  • Bike ride at Monohey  Didn't happen
  • Have sleepovers with Kayleen (x5)  Only once but not our faults!

  • So here is Summer 2014 Bucket List!
    • Go to J Cupcakes!  Been wanting to go here forever!
    • Go to G Cupcakes!  Same as above!
    • Another trip with Kayleen?
    • Go to Chipotle
    • Go to Ho-Hot
    • Take Kayleen to Olive Garden!!
    • Walk or Bike Ride at Monohey (Hopefully more then once!  Dad has pass!)
    • Sleepovers with Kayleen!!!
    • Mall shopping trips! (x2)
    • Go to Old Market with Kayleen!
    • Go to the movies!
    • Go to the zoo with Kayleen!
    • Go to Cheddars
    • Go through Tours Of Homes
    • Family Vacations (x2)
    • Red Mango Trip! (x2)'s not close to us anymore :(
    • Go to Steak N Shake!!! (None in!)
    • Go to Juice Stop

    There is my Summer 2014 bucket list!  Now if only summer would come!

    Thursday, March 20, 2014

    Loving A Job/The People

    Today I visited the daycare that I work at back home.  (I consider me working there because I still have the job, just can only work breaks currently with being an hour away at college!)

    I'm so glad I have a job that I know will work with me and let me come back during summers and breaks!  I absolutely love this daycare and always have.  I am friends with most of the staff and some of the children love me.

    I think it is good to have a good relationship with your co-workers and your boss.  I'm definitely glad I have that :)  I can't imagine not having that!!

    I will be working full time at the daycare this summer, I'm excited!  Only about 2 months til I am back!  Hopefully they go fast :)

    Hopefully Monday or Tuesday I will have a Spring break recap!  I go back Sunday, this break has gone by way too fast!!

    Wednesday, March 19, 2014

    Weekend Shopping Haul

    I went shopping this weekend so I thought I would share what I got!!
    I got some picture frames from Dollar general!  One was on clearance!
    I have had a visa type giftcard to a mall for awhile so I finally spent that on these body washes and the scarfs that are below!!
    I couldn't say no to clearance $5 PJ pants!  They are sooo soft!!!!
    The scarfs were $5 at Charlotte Russe!  I love scarfs and that's a great they are infinite and so cute!
    Got this shirt and the pink one below from Rue 21!  If I bought one, the other was $1 so good deal!
    Kayleen convinced me to get the long skirt that i'm wearing in that picture, so comfy!

    All in all a great trip :)

    Monday, March 17, 2014

    Always With Me

    It's probably due for one of these deep type of posts.  

    It's been two weeks and now 1 day since Grandpa passed away.  In some ways it feels like it's been longer and in others it feels like it hasn't been that long!  

    He's been on my mind a lot today, so I thought I would blog about all these feelings that are inside of me.  Because it truly helps to get all these feelings out.

    I've found myself looking at pictures or thinking about something and saying to myself wow I can't believe he's really gone or is he really gone?  In some ways it doesn't feel real or that this is a reality.

    There are moments where I look up or just think about Grandpa.  I know he's always with me.  

    I have been lucky enough to not have to death with death of a close family member til now, but it makes all this an unknown, and in a way harder to deal with .  

    I'm so thankful that these last 6 months I saw him a decent amount and that I saw him the last 2 Sunday's that he was alive.  Even though I didn't want to see him in the condition he was in the day he died, i'm glad I saw him...because I couldn't imagine how much harder this would be with regret of not seeing him.  

    Writing all this I feel my heart hurt...Because I don't think I will ever get over him being gone or ever feel complete again.  But i'm just thankful for this influence on my life.  I'm so thankful that he was able to see me graduate high school and that I have photos with him.  Because I cherish those so much now.

    Tomorrow I am spending the day with my grandma.  She seems to be doing okay and she is just such a strong lady.  That is a whole other post!

    Happy Monday, I'll be back tomorrow! (On spring break = blog posts!...hopefully ;0)

    Wednesday, March 12, 2014


    I wasn't ever super close to my grandpa, but I do have several memories with him.  Today I wanted to write those down so I had them to look back on! :)
    • My grandpa had an alarm for everything!  An alarm in the driveway that went off when someone drove into driveway  (Which my dad has too and is really handy!), an alarm for when the mailbox was open and when someone walked past the porch.  I have vivid memories of all those going off :)
    • My grandpa loved when the mail came.  Whenever the alarm went off he would race out to the mail!!
    • My grandpa owned a Chem Dry franchise (which my dad has owned for quite some years) and once my dad took over my Grandpa answered the phones.  I remember many times when the phone would ring, Grandpa jumping out of his chair, going to his office and answering the phone. (Over past 3 or so years he slowly stopped answering phones)
    • My grandpa loved Runza!  LOVED! 
    • He also loved his milk!
    • He was married to my grandma for 54 years, I want a love/marriage like that <3
    • He loved the Huskers...he was always wearing husker gear and had season tickets (even though he hadn't gone to a game in yrs...grandkids go to games)
    • He loved bank runs!  Being part of Chem Dry he made many trips to the bank!
    • He had a dog named Snow Ball who he loved and was devastated when she died 10+ years ago.  Though he never got another dog.
    • He was in the military for 20 years and was apart of the 24th Med.  The same unit my dad later was apart of (Found that out recently).
    My grandpa was a great man and I miss him so much <3

    Tuesday, March 11, 2014

    "Don't Know What To Write"

    Like my title?  Creative, huh?! :P

    I've been staring at this black blog post screen...I want to write something...I just don't know WHAT to write about!  I'm in an empty lounge and should be working on a paper that is due tomorrow, but not much motivation for that in the moment.

    This post is going to be a bullet list of randoms!  

    • I have a Day In The Life for Monday/Wednesday/Friday written, but I need to take pictures for it!  Always half way through the day I think of it, so hopefully I remember to do this tomorrow so you all can get that post to read on Thursday!  Fingers crossed!
    • Friday after my last class is the start of spring break!  I'm so excited and ready for it!  Not many plans other then a dentist visit, spending some time with my grandma and maybe a shopping trip ;)  And of course some time visiting friends & hopefully my favorite twins!
    • I'm looking into getting a necklace or bracelet or something to honor my grandpa/remember him/always have him with me.  Any suggestions?!!
    • It's crazy to think that I only have 2 months left of my first year of college!  Flying by!
    • But also with that, i will be excited to spend my summer hopefully working at the daycare back home :)
    • Well my mind is blanking, it's almost dinner time and I need to stop procrastinating!!!  So hopefully there will be up a post tomorrow :)

    Sunday, March 9, 2014

    One Week

    It has been one week since Grandpa passed away.  A week ago about this time I went and saw Grandpa for the last time.  It was really hard to see that he was really not there, and just knowing that he would pass away any moment.  I was just waiting for that call, about 5:30pm a week ago he passed away.

    It's hard to believe it's been a week.  Even though I knew he would not be around for much longer, it didn't make all this any easier.  And this past week has been a busy and emotional week.  From trying to figure out making up work and school to mourning the loss to getting through a funeral to helping grandma out around the house.  It's been a hard week.  But throughout the whole week I found myself thinking about grandpa and looking up into the sky.  Feeling grandpa's presence throughout everything.  I thought multiple times how he was probably looking down and smiling at different moments.  I know he is up there watching over me.  And how much happier he probably is to be out of pain.  He is up there with God, his baby that was stillborn, his parents, his brother and many others.  He is in peace and out of pain.  And that makes things better.

    I know that there will always feel like something missing with him being gone and I won't ever get over missing him.  I will always love and miss him.  This week I kept thinking of moments/memories with him and I just smile and laugh.  I'm hoping to type up a post of these memories so I always have them.

    All of this is hard, but i'm also at peace about everything.

    Now I have a question for you all.  I keep thinking about getting something that I can wear/carry with me all the time in memory of my grandpa.  I know some people would get a tattoo but that isn't for me.  Anyone have any ideas?  Like a necklace or something?  I'd love any suggestions!

    Hopefully this week we can get back to kinda normal blogging!  Have a great week :)  

    Friday, March 7, 2014

    Grandpa's Visitation/Funeral

    I wanted to take a moment to reflect on Grandpa's Vistiation (Wednesday evening) and Funeral (Thursday) while it is still fresh in my mind!  This is something I want to be able to reflect on later at later times.  So sorry not sorry if it's a boring post :)

    Wednesday was such a busy day for me!  I decided because I had a test, my classes where earlyish (10am and 11am) and the fact I was already going to be missing Thursday and Friday plus the fact the visitation wasn't til 4pm that I would attend classes on Wednesday.  So I had my two classes, grabbed lunch on the road and headed home.  I stopped by moms before getting to dads a little before 2pm.  I got ready, got my brother and then went to the visitation.

    I was nervous to see my grandpa in the casket, because I was afraid it would hit me and I would break down.  I was dreading it so much.  But thankfully, it wasn't too bad.  I stayed strong.  The visitation went well and there was a good flow of people that came.  After the vistitation we stopped at home and then went to Grandma's for dinner and also, some out of state family came during this time.  It was a late night, we didn't get home til after 10pm.

    Thursday was the funeral.  Thankfully the funeral wasn't til 1pm and we didn't have to be there til 12:15pm, because we were slow moving in the morning.  There was a good size crowd for the funeral and I stayed strong til the end seeing all the people walk by the coffin and then grandma/us.  I got a little teary eyed during this and during my final goodbye to grandpa.  

    We then got into the funeral procession.  We had a 5 or 10 minute drive to the cemetary and it was kinda fun/entertaining to watch the funeral 'cop'/traffic cars zooming around.  The long line was amazing also.  Grandpa was watching down and laughing, i'm sure!!

    We pulled up to the cemetary and it was amazing to see all the millitary people that had came out.  Grandpa put 20 years into the military and was in 3 branches, so he deserved it.  There was 3 troops like 27 people that came out.  They gave grandma a flag and bullet shells.  It was a very special part that we all cherished!  Just wish we had photos of it, oh well!

    After we had a reception at our church with food!  This was nice.  After we went back to grandmas for 2 hours to say goodbye to family.

    So all in all, it has been a good 2 days of celebrating Grandpa's life.  I felt his presence and I know he and my other grandpa also have an eye on me up there. <3

    Tuesday, March 4, 2014

    Doesn't Seem Real

    These are some of the thoughts that were running through my mind on Monday.  I'm sure you will see more posts like these this week, as I deal with the loss of my grandpa.  His visitation is tomorrow and funeral is Thursday.  It's going to be a rough couple days, but writing these type of posts help me.  So here is today's post...

    Are you really gone?  This doesn't seem real.  It doesn't seem real that I saw you hours before you passed.  It doesn't seem real how fast you passed.  None of this seems real.  It doesn't seem real that you are gone.

    I know it will hit me, when I see you in that casket.  That you are gone.  You are out of pain.  But that doesn't help my broken heart.  My stomach is in knots.  Feels like part of me is missing.  I feel so sad, and I keep thinking about you.  That you are really gone.  Worried about how my grandma and dad are doing.  Knowing that this week will be a hard one.

    Trying to keep myself busy and with friends, so I don't thinjk about this all 24-7.  But I have so much to do.  Teachers to notify that I will be missing, notes and tests to make up, and figuring out covering work shifts.  But you are in my mind 24/7.

    I didn't know how I would do when I finally got this news.  Seeing you Sunday, I knew you would be gone soon.  Seeing you breathing hard, hooked up to oxygen, being on hospice and not being alert or awake.  Seeing my grandma seeing you like that and blaming herself.  Seeing my dad get teared up.  It was hard and I went back to the dorm knowing that probably after grandma left him that he would be gone.  

    I was waiting for that call.  I saw the phone light up when I was washing my hands in the bathroom.  And I knew, I just knew that you were gone.  I raced to my room, felt the knots in my stomach and heard my dads voice say he is gone.  I held those tears in during that quick phone call.  And then it was like a part of me was gone.  I raced to a friends room for a hug.  To have someone there.  I held in the tears, letting a few slip.  And after I cried a little and just stayed with friends.

    But I know that seeing you bury is gonna hurt even more.  Right now nothing seems real, but I know deep inside that when I see you laying in that casket, I'm going to break down.

    But i'm thankful for those friends that are being here for me and also the family.  Everything will be ok, but just not right now.

    Monday, March 3, 2014

    March 2, 2014

    It is with a sad broken heart that I write this.

    On Sunday March 2, 2014 shortly after 5:30PM, we lost a great man.  My grandpa, Gary Michael Closner.  He was a loving and great grandpa, father, husband, uncle, cousin and friend.  He was been battling lung cancer, dementia and Parkinson's disease.  He is finally out of pain.  Sunday, my uncle, cousins, dad, me and grandpa all saw him.  Only hours after my grandma had finally visited him (She was in the hospital til last Tuesday and has been weak), he passed on.  He wanted to go see God and he finally did.  I know have both my grandfathers up in heaven watching over me.  He may be gone, but he will forever be loved and in my heart.

    He went down hill very fast.  Saturday February 22nd he was moved into a demtnia home.  It seems that he finally relaxed when he moved into there.  On Thursday night, he was put on hospice.  Then he went down very quickly and fast.  Esp on Saturday to Sunday.  It seems that he was just holding on til my grandma got to say her goodbye before he finally let go.  He is in a better place now, out of pain and up there with god.

    It is a rough week for me and my family.  I just know that he is watching over me up in heaven out of pain. <3

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