Monday, March 17, 2014

Always With Me

It's probably due for one of these deep type of posts.  

It's been two weeks and now 1 day since Grandpa passed away.  In some ways it feels like it's been longer and in others it feels like it hasn't been that long!  

He's been on my mind a lot today, so I thought I would blog about all these feelings that are inside of me.  Because it truly helps to get all these feelings out.

I've found myself looking at pictures or thinking about something and saying to myself wow I can't believe he's really gone or is he really gone?  In some ways it doesn't feel real or that this is a reality.

There are moments where I look up or just think about Grandpa.  I know he's always with me.  

I have been lucky enough to not have to death with death of a close family member til now, but it makes all this an unknown, and in a way harder to deal with .  

I'm so thankful that these last 6 months I saw him a decent amount and that I saw him the last 2 Sunday's that he was alive.  Even though I didn't want to see him in the condition he was in the day he died, i'm glad I saw him...because I couldn't imagine how much harder this would be with regret of not seeing him.  

Writing all this I feel my heart hurt...Because I don't think I will ever get over him being gone or ever feel complete again.  But i'm just thankful for this influence on my life.  I'm so thankful that he was able to see me graduate high school and that I have photos with him.  Because I cherish those so much now.

Tomorrow I am spending the day with my grandma.  She seems to be doing okay and she is just such a strong lady.  That is a whole other post!

Happy Monday, I'll be back tomorrow! (On spring break = blog posts!...hopefully ;0)

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