Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Since Grandpa Died: One Month

Grandpa died one month ago today (died March 2, 2014).  In some ways it feels like it has been forever and in other it feels like it was just yesterday.  I remember that day so vividly.  It was such an emotional day.  My dad had been telling me for awhile that we didn't have much time left with Grandpa, but I didn't want to believe that completely.  I wanted to stay positive.  And when he went down hill, he went down super fast.  But i'm so thankful that I got to see him the day he died.  Even though I had to see him in the condition that he was in.  I got to see him one last time and I'm thankful for that.

This past month has been full of emotions.  From sadness, to mourning, to celebrating his life, to missing him, to slowly starting to get over all of this. 

I feel like I am slowly starting to move on.  I know that a part of me will always feel like it's missing without him here.  But he is always with me and watching over me.  And someday (hopefully not for many many years) I will see and be with him again.  

Over the last couple weeks I have gotten to the point where he isn't on my mind 24/7 esp at night time.  I am able to not be sad or thinking about him all the time.  I am moving on.  Obv. I'm never going to be 100% moved on with life without him, I will always miss him.  But i'm learning to live this life without him here.  And I know that is for the best for me and he wouldn't want me to not live my life just because he's gone.  Because he's out of pain and in the best place there is, heaven.  And someday we will be reunited.  But for now I am going to live my life and try to make him proud everyday <3


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